Series of Unfortunate Events – BTN Part 2

By Lu


Despite having a hectic week, here is the continuation for my Biro Tatanegara experience.

On the 3rd day of torture, we suppose to have our fitness test in the morning. But luckily (or unluckily for them), it was raining heavily in the morning. So, we received our usual rounds of shouting friendly advice from KJ.

And after that, we began the first LDK (Latihan dalam Kumpulan). Group 12 facilitators are Encik Khalid and Encik Aziz. And never in my life had I ever meet a trio who can laugh as much as they do – Adele Lee, Khai Zhi, and Jason Chia. Trust me, get anywhere near them and they will brighten up your day indefinitely with their infectious laughter. In fact, Adele claimed she toned her abs during these few days in BTN because she laugh too much and it toughens her muscles.

In LDK, they taught us about patriotism and other things such as brainwashing us with useless opinions! I said opinions, NOT facts because opinions are what you think of based on the given facts. And it is a fact that they never give any view from another point of view. Still, LDK is very interesting. Encik Khalid supplement it with some of his little brainteasers.

Here is one of them:

“I have an aunt in in Perak. She lived near Kampung Buaya. It is famous for the presence of crocodiles there. One day, when she was washing clothes on the river bank with her son, a crocodile suddenly snatch off her child and into the river. She tried to retrieve him but to no avail. So, she cried out to the village men and asked for help. The village men went on crocodile hunting and they caught a small one with flat belly. They asked my aunt what to do with it. My aunt said to gut it and they did, Turns out the crocodile stomach is empty and they went on hunting again. This continues on the same for the next ten crocodiles until they discovered the next one with a fat belly. The village men captured it and with my aunt order, gut it. Turns out, they found dead baby crocodiles in her belly. My aunt saw this and become remorseful. She remembered about her own child and asked the village men not to capture any more crocodiles.

The infamous crocodiles.

So, what is the moral behind this story? Encik Khalid later asked whether we felt sad or not. How do we feel about his aunt and what about all the dead crocodiles?

That guy is damn suspense. I sense something about this and he knows about it, so, he didn’t ask about my opinion until I am the last person. The rest all answered like they felt very sad. Some even at the verge of tears. When it was my turn, I …

Sometimes, being unique and moves against the crowd may not be a bad thing after all.

I said that I will not feel any sadness or any remorse for his aunt’s action. Because, you see: Crocodiles lay eggs, they do not carry them in their bellies. Haha. Guess only someone with genius like me can see through his lies.

We continue on with some discussions and debates etc. A lot of laughs are ensured as our three kookaburras liven up the atmosphere. No living souls are spared as we keep on digging up weaknesses in each others arguments. Oh, the primitive feeling of triumph whenever success is obtained is comparable to that of our forefathers when they succeed in returning home with hunts on their back. 😛

Next, we all have the fitness test. Turns out I am quite healthy with the body age of a thirty years old. The best is a twenty years old. Heck, I am not even twenty years old yet. I only did badly in the pulse test where they check our pulse rate after doing all these exercise, a measly B rating 🙁

And now, I will explained how I think my group has the largest appetite of everyone there. That night during dinner, the kitchen served prawns (not fresh at all!) and some other assorted dishes. We finish up everything on the table instantly. Then, one by one finish their fill and they left. Soon, only five of us – Adele, Chew, Khai Zhi, Jason and I are left. We sorta like compete among each other to see who can eat more, but Adele is just accompanying us. And since one of our group members didn’t show up for dinner, the five of us finish a six person course. Later on, we go and refill the prawn dish for the first time. Eat, eat, eat and all was gone. By now, everyone in the dining finish and left already. But then, we were still hungry and went on to take more rice and a second plate of prawns. Haha, the gluttonous group. Pak “Cencaluk” (One of the Jurulatih there) saw us and bring the whole tray (yes! the whole tray) of prawns to our table and said: “Wah, sure can eat a lot. One, two, three, four, and five. Finish up all these prawns here or do pumping tomorrow!” Don’t worry, he is not angry, but a jolly fellow at that. We tried and we finish our second refill of prawns. By then, we began scoping off the prawns in the tray into our plates but it is really overkill.

In the end, I am the only one left eating and even I cannot finish the prawns there. So, we admitted defeat and returned the tray to the kitchen. Then, we continued on to wash our plates. But, there is still a sense of pride there because if you look into the dustbins (those black ones you found in schools), the surface is entirely red as we dumped a whole lot of prawns’ shells inside it until you cannot see anything else but a thick layer of red only. Haha, see the strength of stomachs! Before I left the dining hall, I still went to the excess fruit basket and took something for dessert. Talk about filling your stomach. Few hours later, we are all well and ready for supper. 😛